| | On Thursday, in a fit of insecurity and indecision, I bought a facial product. It was also because I needed some change for bus money. But mostly in a fit of insecurity. The woman at the counter rang it up and said "Oh, expensive." I mumbled something and said have a nice day and felt pretty lame because if I really just wanted cash I could have gotten drink instead of paying five times the bus fare. Also I don't think it seems to work all that well, anyway.
My frustration about all of this is not so much because I am anti-makeup or anti-facial care and think all facial products are evil, but more because I just bought something I didn't really want in the first place primarily because I was worried about what other people thought of me.
It just annoys me that I spent the first twenty-one years of my life finally reaching the point of being pretty secure about my appearance and now that I'm out of college I feel like there's a sudden surge of people very kindly and lovingly telling me For My Own Benefit it's not good enough, because it's simply Not The Way It's Done. I don't think anybody really needs extra things like makeup. Like, some days I look in the mirror and think "Hey, I look pretty darn good." I'm not kidding. But if people keep telling you otherwise it kind of makes you wonder, y'know?
I guess I'm still trying to find where to stand between my comfortable existence as a slob, obeying social etiquette, the fact that I do have the occasional desire to look nicer than I naturally do, and the unfortunate habit of wanting to impress other people in whatever aspect of life. Right now my primary motivation for primping myself up, the few times I do, is either (1) out of fear or (2) so people stop bothering me about it. Admittedly, every once in a while (3) because I actually enjoy it. But mostly (1). Maybe that is not a healthy view of primping, but that's the way it is for now.
P.S. Out of curiosity, I did a google search on "anti makeup". The first three results are about anti-makeup. The rest are about anti-blemish, anti-aging, anti-wrinkle, anti-______ makeup. I thought that was kind of sad.
Whatever, I'm going to sleep.
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| | Posted 7/26/2008 1:47 AM - 198 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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